I know, you’re saying, “is this a trick question?”  

The answer is, when it’s you’re uncle (or aunt).  

I had always wondered why the children of O’s cousins called him “zio” (uncle), but I figured it was just used as a form of respect despite the fact that he’s not of the advanced age that usually merits it.  (Older people in town are generally addressed as Zia or Zio plus their first name.)

One day, being the curious person that I am, I couldn’t stand it anymore, and had to ask him why his cousins call him “Uncle”.  He, of course, didn’t understand what I was talking about until I mentioned specific individuals.   His response was, ”they’re not my cousins, they’re my nieces and nephews”.  And I said, “HUH”? (Picture me scratching my head)

We went back and forth discussing this with me saying that the children of his cousins are his cousins – unfortunately, I didn’t know how to say “once-removed” in Italian – and him saying no, they’re his nephews.  So, I dropped it, figuring it was better left alone.

Fast forward to yesterday when I received a message from my cousin – first cousin once removed that is, otherwise known as my father’s first cousin.  O wanted to know who he was and when I told him my cousin, the discussion started all over again.  Finally I tried to explain – the children of my grandfather’s siblings are my father’s first cousins.  My father’s first cousins are my first cousins once removed and the children of my father’s first cousins are my second cousins.  (It’s confusing even for those of us who speak English, I know.) 

He finally understood the relationship and explained that in Italian you actually have 2^nd Aunts and Uncles along with the corresponding 2^nd Nieces and Nephews.  So, to clarify, my father’s first cousin, in Italian, is actually my 2^nd Uncle and I’m his 2^nd Niece.  His children are my 2^nd Cousins, just like in English. 

 Whew!  I’m glad we got that straightened out!